My family came to
Missouri in 1970 from Douglas, Arizona.
My father was a nonmember who grew up in a very wicked home. My mother was a member in name who also had a
very disturbing childhood. Both were
abused by their parents in very ungodly ways.
My father turned to alcohol to forget the experiences of his youth, and
at the age of twenty married my mother, who was at the age of fifteen. Her marriage to him was one of desperation in
fleeing a terrible situation at home. I
was born when she was sixteen years old and am the oldest of four boys. My mother’s side of the family had
affiliation with the Reorganized Church generations before. All we knew growing
up was that her grandparents were RLDS.
The Lord in His
infinite wisdom, I believe, gathered our family to Missouri to restore that
heritage. Undoubtedly, it was the
prayers of our fathers on behalf of their seed that led to this
restoration.
Anyway, our family came
to Missouri in search for work. We
stayed with some relatives while my father sought employment. He was a sheet metal worker and after a few
odd jobs was finally hired by Allis-Chalmers, located in Independence,
Missouri. We then moved to a home north
of Grain Valley. The Lord had placed our
family in the heart of a community of Saints.
My father soon met a man at Allis-Chalmers who lived approximately one
and a half miles from our home. His name
was Glen Lambkin and he was an Elder in the RLDS Church. Our families began what has become a lifelong
friendship.
My father was an
abusive alcoholic who was very antagonistic towards the Church. He had somewhat of a Catholic background, but
told us our whole lives that the “Mormons” and the “Book of Mormon” was of the
devil. Needless to say, we were not
raised in a very godly environment. The
home that we lived in was the source of much ridicule during my youth. It was an old, run-down shack that had two bedrooms. The roof leaked in all the
rooms except for two, and during the winter we all slept in the living room
huddled around two kerosene heaters. Our
home had no indoor plumbing and we hauled water in gallon jugs from the Lambkins’
home. We never knew the comforts that so
many we came into contact with seemed to take for granted. As a result, we grew up under a cloud of
shame and persecution.
We had a constant war
in our home concerning the Church. Many
of those good Saints around us extended themselves to our family in sacrificial
ways. My mother always tried to get us
out of the home because of the abuse.
Whenever an opportunity arose for us to go and work for the Saints, she
jumped at the opportunity. We, as a
consequence, labored on the farms of many of the Saints. They in turn would buy us clothes, shoes, pay
for Boy Scout camps, etc. They were very
careful not to send us home with cash as it would be spent to medicate my
father. My mother experienced much grief
of soul for allowing us to go and fellowship with the Saints. I remember all too well the wicked spirits
that had possession of my father during times of drunkenness which would mock
and ridicule the Book of Mormon and the Church.
Yet we saw the example of the Saints.
Growing up this was the constant controversy in our home. While I attended church, it was more of an
escape than out of a desire for a relationship with Christ.
I, however, “followed
in the tradition” of my father. I began
experimenting with drugs at the age of twelve or thirteen and was allowed to
smoke as long as I supplied my own cigarettes.
My heart was very hardened and my soul was full of anger at the world. I
used to get into many fights at school, and actually had to sit the last three
months of my fifth grade year in the principal’s office for trying to attack a
fellow student with a baseball bat.
Struggles at home with my father caused me to leave home at the age of
fifteen to live with a man named John Carson.
He had a farm in Oak Grove that I worked on. He had just recently left Drumm Farm and had
several boys from that institution who also went to stay on his farm to
work. My mother saw this as a way to
help me to change my life. The seeds,
however, had already been sown. I continued
in rebellion against my God and all His authorities. My use of alcohol and drugs continued to
escalate.
My involvement with the occult also began
to increase with role-playing games, Ouija boards, the satanic bible, etc. I became very heavily involved with heavy
metal music and they became my idols.
They were living the life I wanted to live. I wanted to be my own God and sought for many
fleshly pleasures which nearly destroyed my soul. Eventually, John asked me to leave his home
and I moved in with some like-minded fellows.
By the time I was seventeen I was doing every drug imaginable. I would always rationalize and justify
myself. I would excuse my sin. By nineteen I was living out of my car
dealing drugs. I was very addicted to methamphetamines
and was doing them intravenously. My
life was being destroyed. I was stealing
to feed myself and support my habits.
Satan was exercising great power over me because of my rebellions. I had many warrants out for my arrest, I
weighed about ninety-eight pounds because of the drug use, and I was lying in
bed one night and said to myself, “Mike, you can’t go on like this.”
The next day I went
down to the Army recruiter’s station. He
must have said to himself, “Look what the cat dragged in.” There I was, ninety-eight pounds, hair down
to my waist, tattoos, and wearing tiger-striped spandex pants, asking to join
the military. I thought that this would
get me out of my legal troubles. This,
however, was not the case. He didn’t
really give me much of a chance to pass to score high enough on the ASVAB
testing or to pass a drug screen. I
scored very high on the entrance examination and after a month of cleansing my
system, I passed my physical. I thought
if I could just escape from the environment, all my drug friends, etc., that I
would be better off. If I could just go
to a far-away place, surely all my troubles would end.
I got stationed in
Hawaii. That ought to be far enough away, a new start…only one thing was the
problem…Mike was going with me. I was
the problem. My drug usage stopped for
the first two years of my stay in the military, but I turned to what I call
“suicide drinking.” I had many
altercations in the military, and the MPs knew me by name. I had many drinking-related incidents which
finally came to a head. One day, during
a drunken rampage, I assaulted a Lieutenant Colonel on base. I woke up in the hospital in very dire
straits. The only thing that saved me
was that my entire chain of command went to bat for me during my summary court
martial proceedings and said, “This is the best soldier we have; he just has a
drinking problem.” With that, the
sentence was suspended and I was sent to alcohol and drug rehab at Tripler Army
Medical Center. I was there for about
two and a half months. It was while I
was there, in a protected environment, that for the first time I learned some
things about myself. Much of the shame
of my youth was confessed and I was going to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics
Anonymous meetings. This was a step. The Lord was allowing me to grow grace by
grace.
Unfortunately, I didn’t hearken to their
counsel. I wanted to hang out with my
old friends and not make the necessary changes in my life. And after a time, this dog returned to his
vomit. After I turned back to my old
ways, I became more hardened in my sin.
There eventually was another incident and I was discharged from the
military. I came back home and continued
in the ways of rebellion against God. I
spent my time at bars, rock concerts, etc.
This above is an
abridged version of my background and it is shared not to glory in my sin, God
forbid, but to give you some idea of the hole that Christ pulled me out
of. I hope nothing shared thus far has
offended. I have had your sensibilities
in mind and would not want to in any way glory in my wickedness. Now for the good part.
About this time, I
found myself in a mighty wrestle before the Lord. And now I will tell you of the wrestle which
I had before God before I received a remission of my sins. Deep down, the Spirit was pricking me to make
changes. My flesh was weak. A series of events and discussions with some
people in the Church led me to start researching the New Age movement. I began to study the New Age agenda and began
to be concerned in my heart. I was
trying to stop drinking and smoking and there were many doubts in my mind
concerning the research that I was engaged in.
Like Alma, I had “to know these things for myself” and I asked my
younger brother, “What is fasting?” He
said that it is when you give up food or something that you covet and seek the
Lord. This was on a Thursday evening in
1992. I purposed in my heart to fast
from food and television that entire weekend and seek God to find out if what I
was reading was true. This was done in
secret, and as you will see, the Lord rewarded me openly. I also put down the cigarettes. Let me state that I was an avid sports fan
and this just happened to be the weekend of the NCAA basketball
tournament. This many not seem like much
of a sacrifice, but I had never fasted from food before and I worshipped sports
and the television set. The cigarettes
had me truly in bondage.
The book that I was
currently reading was Mystery Mark of the
New Age by Texxe Mars. I began my
fast the next day, Friday. I fasted all
that day and when I went home that night I began to study earnestly. I had a King James Version of the Bible that
I was looking up references in. My
father passed out, my mother went off to bed, and my brother went to work. I was all alone in the bedroom. Alyce Lambkin had been one of the Saints that
I had consulted and she gave me an Old Missionary copy of the Book of Mormon to
read. I hadn’t read it and was leery of
it considering the brainwashing of my youth by my father. I had been studying for a couple of hours and
all of the sudden I heard my dog start barking outside. The next thing that happened I can only
attempt to convey with words, which are most inadequate. I sensed the presence of an evil spirit come
into the room. I had given my life over
to wicked spirits all my days, but for the first time I sensed a presence
outside of myself. The next thing that
happened was that the evil spirit came upon me, and I had a total revelation of
Satan’s intense hatred for me and his desire to see me miserable like he is
miserable. I have never known fear like
I did when that spirit seized upon me. I
rolled off of the bed and hit the floor praying. I don’t know how long I prayed, but I poured
my soul out to God for the first time in my entire life. I begged and pleaded with Him for deliverance
from this spirit which was upon me. I
was so fearful that I dared not even open my eyes, but continued in prayer and
supplication before God for my soul’s salvation.
Soon the spirit began
to lift, and when I finally gained the courage to open my eyes – I was afraid
of what I might see – the Spirit of God descended upon me and filled my entire
being. And immediately I conferred not
with flesh and blood. My chest felt like
it was sticking out three feet in front of me, and my bosom was full. And I had the revelation of Jesus Christ, a
total revelation of His love for me and desire to see me reclaimed in the
Kingdom of God. The Spirit was upon me
in mighty power, even unto the consuming of my flesh. For the first time in my life, I knew that
God was and is. And there was no Mike
there. I was caught up into His presence
and I could exclaim even as Moses did when he was caught up into an exceeding
high mountain into the presence of God what he declared in Section 22, “And for this
cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I had never supposed.” And I knew that Mike was nothing, which thing
I had never supposed. For I had walked
all of my days in the pride of my heart.
I was lifted up and in this moment I was abased and brought low. I was weeping in the Joy of the Lord and His
Spirit was upon me. Now I’ve stuck every
drug into my body in every way possible, and nothing could compare to being in the presence of God. The Spirit was leading me to the Scriptures,
and my first inclination was to grab that King James Version of the Bible. With
His Spirit on me, I began to frantically search through it and was asking the
Lord, “What do You want to show me?”
His Spirit was more
than I could bear. I looked over, and on
the top of my bed was that Book of Mormon that Alyce had given me to read. I reached out and grabbed that book and
looked in the beginning. It had a
suggested reading style, with topics and page numbers and verses to read. As I scanned down the page, I saw the phrase,
“How to attain faith”, and it told me what page to turn to and what verse to
begin reading at. I now know that it was
Mormon’s epistle to his son Moroni as found in the seventh chapter of Moroni,
starting in verse 20. I quickly, under the influence of the Spirit,
turned to that page. I scanned down the
page, and when I got to verse 20 the Spirit magnified a hundredfold and the
Lord began to speak to me in an audible voice, “And now I come to that faith of which I said I would speak, And I will
tell you the way whereby you may lay hold of every good thing….” And the
Lord spoke to me verses 20 through 53.
Of course, this ended with Mormon’s great discourse on charity. And as soon as he spoke the last words of
verse 53, the Spirit fled. I cried out “NO!” because I didn’t want to be
out of His presence. I wondered if I had
done something. I quickly highlighted
what He spoke to me. My heart was
pounding in my chest, and I had to tell someone. It was about two in the morning, so I just
laid there and contemplated what had transpired.
Now I believe that the
Lord allowed the spirit of the adversary to come upon me so that I might know
what it is like to be left without His Spirit.
I was totally given over to that spirit, and all I could do was cry out
for deliverance. If you had been in the
room, I don’t know if you would have heard His voice, but I did and it did
shake me to the very center. You might
have well been like Paul’s friends on the road to Damascus who saw the light,
but didn’t hear the voice (Acts 9). He expounded unto me Gospel from the
beginning, from His own mouth He declared it unto me. This is the revelation of Jesus Christ. “And I
certify unto you, brethren, that the gospel…for I neither received it of man,
neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (Galatians 1:11-12). Arthur Oakman used to say that “One word
spoken into your soul from the lips of Jesus Christ has the power to create His
Image in you.”
I finally drifted off
to sleep about two hours later. As soon
as my brother got home, I shared my experience of the night before. All was not done yet, for I continued on my
course on Saturday, fasting and studying to know the truth. Saturday night rolled around and I found
myself alone again. I was reading the
same book, Mystery and the New Age,
and all of a sudden I felt that same evil presence come into the room. I was again fearful, for I remembered what
had happened the night before when it seized upon me. I immediately began to pray unto the Lord for
protection. I prayed that He might send
His angels to guard about me that I might know of Satan’s wicked designs in
these the last days. I was given an
assurance by the Spirit, that what God wanted to transpire would not be
interrupted by Satan. As soon as that
assurance came, Satan spoke to my mind in an audible voice and said, “Well at
least I’ve got your father!” I cried out
in my soul, “Noooo!” As soon as I cried
out, the Spirit of God descended upon me in great power like it had the night
before, and I was again caught up into His presence and He was leading me again
to the Scriptures. This time, my first
response was to grab that Book of Mormon, and I went to the second set of
references. It directed me to turn to
this page and begin reading on such and such a verse. I now know it to be Alma 16:138, and as soon as I got to verse 138, the Spirit
magnified again a hundredfold, and the Lord began to speak unto me again in an
audible voice, “Or rather, in other words
(Mike, if you don’t believe what I said last night, let me state it this way), Blessed is he that believeth on the word
of God and is baptized without stubbornness of heart, Yea without being brought
to know the word or even compelled before they will believe…” The Lord
spoke to me the entire Parable of the Seed as found in Alma 16:138-173. In
particular, when He spoke to me in verse 154 about swelling motions of the
Spirit in your breast, the Spirit began to swell back and forth in my
bosom. As soon as He finished speaking
verse 173, the Spirit fled again just as before.
Praise be to God that
by the power of His Spirit He has wrought a mighty change in me and in my heart
that I have no disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. Yea, I have been crucified with Christ; yet I
live, but not I, but Christ liveth in me.
From that time forth, He took all the desires for drugs, alcohol, and
cigarettes. He took a man of unclean
lips and has made him to shout praises to the Holy One of Israel. Oh, the power of His deliverance! I was the vilest of sinners, yet in His great
mercy He reached down and delivered me from the darkest abyss and now I have
beheld the marvelous light of God. To
Him be all praise, honor, and glory. It
is the mighty work which He hath done.
For I had to be compelled to be humble and my sins have left their mark
upon me today. For the next few weeks, I
feasted on the Book of Mormon and the Lord was with me in power, revealing
things to me about that record that a babe like me has only recently come to
realize. His Spirit was upon me for
about three months after this experience.
I would not even get into a car with the radio on, it was so offensive
to the Spirit, and I could not endure the presence of a television with all its
folly and worldly wisdom. Only in His
Word did I find joy and peace.
I share this not to
lift myself above any, for among sinners I have been chief. I only share this to lift up the name of
Jesus Christ. I believe in a God of
miracles who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. My faith was truly as the grain of mustard
seed, yet He was mighty to save. The
Lord gathered our family here to receive that which had been lost. We found out years later that our family has
a deep heritage in the Church on my mother’s side. My great-great-grandfather was E.E. Long,
who, from what I understand, spent most of his life on the Indian reservation
as a missionary. The Longs and the Luffs
intermarried and I came to know of this heritage through Lucy Graybill,
formerly Lucy Luff. The Lord is truly an
awesome God.
This is a brief
testimony that covers all the major events of my conversion to Christ. With my upbringing, the Lord had to give me a
testimony of the Book of Mormon, or I would have never believed. When God tells you something, you really
don’t care what men say. My testimony is that Christ lives, for I have heard
His voice. The work commenced through
the prophet Joseph Smith is true. The
Book of Mormon is of God and Zion will be.
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